Vignettes
Interview
Don't ever show up for an interview reeking of alcohol and slurring your words. Though it leaves a lasting impression, it's probably not the kind you intended.
Potato Chips
I had a visit back in February that highlighted to me many of the ways that certain aimless pursuits can end badly. I didn’t even share it with my best friend, partly from forgetfulness and lack of proximity, but mostly from shame. The other person was not very attractive and wanted something different than he originally stated. I was way out of his league but proceeded anyway. In retrospect it seems like some kind of self-worth crisis.
Sometimes I'll find an unexpected big bag of chips in the pantry. I know it’s better to leave the chips alone. I pick up the bag, open it, convince myself that I’ll be fine with just one or two. I know I should put it down, walk away. This goes on for a while. Then when what’s left is too small for my fingers, I tip the bag up with one corner in my mouth to get every last crumb.
Maybe I'm lucky and don’t feel physically sick. But emotionally, I know I just totally lost control and don’t know how.
Happiness
I've spent a lot of time lately talking with my closest friend about happiness. I may have come a tiny step closer to a slightly clearer sense of what that means to me. I want active validation from others that they value the characteristics about me that I value. This facilitates connections in ways that are deep and meaningful to me and presumably to them too, or they wouldn't go to the trouble.
Shame and Hope
The other adult in my household had a 2-hour reunion visit with a friend he knew well 25 years ago, but hasn't seen since. I earnestly hope his friend told him that he's very fortunate to have an attractive and smart person in his life, since he seems utterly unaware of that himself.
Don't ever show up for an interview reeking of alcohol and slurring your words. Though it leaves a lasting impression, it's probably not the kind you intended.
Potato Chips
I had a visit back in February that highlighted to me many of the ways that certain aimless pursuits can end badly. I didn’t even share it with my best friend, partly from forgetfulness and lack of proximity, but mostly from shame. The other person was not very attractive and wanted something different than he originally stated. I was way out of his league but proceeded anyway. In retrospect it seems like some kind of self-worth crisis.
Sometimes I'll find an unexpected big bag of chips in the pantry. I know it’s better to leave the chips alone. I pick up the bag, open it, convince myself that I’ll be fine with just one or two. I know I should put it down, walk away. This goes on for a while. Then when what’s left is too small for my fingers, I tip the bag up with one corner in my mouth to get every last crumb.
Maybe I'm lucky and don’t feel physically sick. But emotionally, I know I just totally lost control and don’t know how.
Happiness
I've spent a lot of time lately talking with my closest friend about happiness. I may have come a tiny step closer to a slightly clearer sense of what that means to me. I want active validation from others that they value the characteristics about me that I value. This facilitates connections in ways that are deep and meaningful to me and presumably to them too, or they wouldn't go to the trouble.
Shame and Hope
The other adult in my household had a 2-hour reunion visit with a friend he knew well 25 years ago, but hasn't seen since. I earnestly hope his friend told him that he's very fortunate to have an attractive and smart person in his life, since he seems utterly unaware of that himself.
posted by Compos Mentis at 11:54 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home